The 20's - Part I

One line from a bad Korean movie I watched a few years ago have always stuck in my mind: "The 20's is the hardest time of your life. Life gets better once you get through it."

I have never quite understood that. Most people celebrate their 20's, as a time to work hard, play hard. A time before the marriage hits (for many people). A time before kids come into your life (for most people). A time before your career is set (for most people).

But talking to a lot of friends over the past two years and going through what I have gone through, I have come to understand and agree with that statement: the 20's is pretty rough. I think this calls for an outline.

1) Uncertainty in career. For many of us, the 20's, especially after college, is a time of uncertainty. Some of us are lucky and know what they want to do as a career--a teacher, a nurse, a surgeon, etc. Many don't. Even for those go to the medical school or law school, there are choices to be made. As someone thinking about business (as long as I don't win the lottery--then all bets are off), there are so many choices/routes you can take, it's quite frightening. There is no "do this and that, and you'll have a shot at entering a good college" or "do this and that, and you'll graduate with honors" as you had in high school and college. Guess what? You work your butts off to have as opportunities as you can in order to do great things, and then you want someone to hold your hand, narrow down your options and tell you what to do. From what I have heard, many people struggle with finding out what their "passion" is. What our "calling" is. In fact, most of us end up choosing something that we are quite unsure of for our first or second post-college careers. (Why do you think there are so many Harvard investment bankers/consultants/private equity people? No knock on their abilities and achievements, but doesn't that strike you as a semi-herd behavior?) And keep on wondering what is the right thing for us to pursue.

2) Uncertainty in relationships. This expands to friendships and acquaintances that many people have had in college, which fades after graduation in intensity and number for most of us. But the focus is on your significant other here. Some of us are lucky (and perhaps unlucky) to seal the deal with that special someone not too soon after college. (And I mean unlucky for people to rush into things and plant trouble for their marriage later on). But many of us just have a hard time finding that other person right away. And in fact, some relationships that you thought were going to last permanently end up being broken. For many of us, those heart-breaking incidents are a part of the process in which we find more about ourselves and become mature (hopefully). But it often involves pain, bitterness and sometimes wounds that last for a really long time. Different people feel differently about this, but sometimes I wish God would just show in my dream the face and the name of the person that I should marry. Not asking for an elaborate page with a picture and resume here...a simple facebook page will do. But then again, saying that I know what's better for me than God is like saying I can create a bigger and better universe than He can. And I'm not that stupid.

3) Boredom. For many of us with a office job, work can develop into a routine where you end up waiting for Friday to come on starting Monday morning. And this may be true for even non-office workers. I think everyone has been there at one point or another--it's just a matter of streaks sometimes, methinks. But this part requires the least description, as most of those who are out of college and not in school anymore can probably relate to different degrees.

I'm probably missing some other things, but I think those are the major reasons why the 20's can be rough. Now, I have been thinking of ways to overcome these challenges--as the wise Kanye West once said, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" (well, Kanye--sometimes. You've had it really rough with those rap music). I wanted to expound upon some of my revelations, but it's Monday morning by now, and I have to postpone my resolution to sometime later this week. Till then, take care.