Last Sunday, I heard a sermon about Gideon, a character whom I knew very little about. Two verses struck out at me, so I printed and (naturally) laminated them:
Judges 6:15-16
15And he said to him, "Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house." 16And the LORD said to him, "But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man."
These verses reminded me about a tall task ahead of me: teaching two grades, preparing for marriage, exploring different careers, taking care of grad school, serving at church, maintaining and growing friendships, etc. I don't look at these as a task per se: but at the end of the day, time and efforts must be spent in order for these to be truly meaningful. Often feeling lost and overwhelmed, I'd turn to TV, videogames, ESPN, and other means of diversion as a way to escape, albeit momentarily.
All these moments, I feel extremely weak. Not unlike Gideon, I feel utterly incapable. My usual self-confidence and belief in God's provision are uprooted, and I build a wall around myself.
But those verses have inspired me because I identified so much with Gideon. While Gideon's need to have multiple signs of assurance from God isn't exactly a model of faith, I think I am coming more at peace with moving forward. Come what may, for Jesus is my boss at work and in life. He demands excellence that is different from what the world requires. It is not any less difficult, but He will love me regardless.
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